Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes

Heavens to Murgatroyd! The collapse of the United States, even!

It appears that the 21st Century's Tiresias is Russian and has finally been acknowledged for his dedicated ranting and lunacy spanning his entire career.

This Ruskie's here to burst your collective bubble, bitches: the Unites States is on the brink of undoing that meddlesome Abe Lincoln's Federalist malarky. For those of you unfamiliar with the soothsayer in question, I present to you the star of Russia's Diplomatic Academy of Foreign Affairs, Professor Igor Panarin:



Talk about your Level 3 Sex Offender. This is the kind of guy who duct tapes himself to his leg before going to a candy store.

The professor's debaucherous tendencies make him quite well suited, however, to identify the characteristics of an empire whose imminent collapse could put the Romans to shame.

Panarin's neat, Nostradamian example of analytical chutzpah (scratch that, Russians don't like Jews) is built upon his deft (dare I say ingenious?) reading of America's economic tea leaves:

"Panarin said in the interview that the financial crisis will worsen, unemployment will rise and people will lose their savings -- factors that will cause the country’s breakup." (ibid)

He gets a "Sassy Winkey Face" sticker for this week's Succulent Statement of the Obvious. Nothing like watching CNN International for 5 minutes and then passing off your rant as authoritative commentary.

I'll be the first to tell you that I'm a cynical bastard. However, two things are holding me back from believing Professor Panarin:

As former Press Secretary of ROSCOSMOS, Russia's Federal Space Agency, Panarin described his information policy's "propaganda" [sic] as breaking new ground into anti-US territory (how gauche!).

These modern-day seers are a dime a dozen, and both sides of the Divide employ them. Lest ye forget, I'll end this post with a brief history lesson before you apply for a Visa to visit Michigan. Please remember the downfall of Dr. Avery Lexington, former American Foreign Policy Paramour whose final prediction sealed the lid on his career's coffin:

“The policies emerging under Russian President Vladimir Putin hold the potential for building stronger democratic institutions as well as for radically shifting regional norms to ease tensions in the Caucuses!”